In one month, it will be the 1 year anniversary of when I last posted on this blog. I am grateful to those of you who read every post and interacted with me here and on the Facebook page. This past “year of silence” has been interesting. I haven’t written much of anything since last year, and the only reason I can come up with is…writer’s block. Also, life. I got a new job last year in the second week of November, and my commutes became longer and I had less desire to write anything once I got home. Also, there wasn’t as much change in my life this past year as there was in the year before. The summer of 2015 did not match up with the summer of 2014, which I still consider one of the best summers of my life. God has brought me a long way with my anxiety, and I no longer see it as a defining part of me, though I do have to fight it from time to time. Other than that, the only other major change is that I got contacts.
That in itself was a big step for me, as I always thought I would be a glasses gal. However, once my favorite frames became permanently askew, and I got tired of constantly getting them fixed, I started to seriously reconsider contacts. I have no regrets–they’re not as uncomfortable or difficult to put on as I thought they would be!
So, you didn’t miss anything serious in my life during my time away from this blog.
When I first started this blog, I had difficulty finding my footing as a blogger. It took awhile for me to find my focus. I remember the day I visited the career center at my alma mater, and the director told me she had checked my blog and could not figure out what the focus was. I was more naive back then–I just wanted to write about whatever i wanted to write about, and I didn’t think a focus was necessary. As time passed, it became clear that writing about my life was more my forte, and that writing about other topics–music, clothes, TV, and the web–was not really my thing. Still, Nikita Says remained about as random as I am, and there was little flow between entries, in my opinion. Nobody, including myself, knew what to expect from this blog.
All this to say, I do want to return to writing, but not under this blog title. I always thought the title sounded a bit contrived–who the heck is Nikita, and why should I care what she has to say? I feel distanced from this alias now, as I had adopted it during my much angstier* college days. I wear different colors more often now. I have a much sunnier outlook on life. I’m not as afraid of people and places anymore.
I still often feel, like many other twenty-somethings, that I am meandering through my life. I’m still in that post-grad phase, even though I graduated 2 years ago and I have a permanent job now. While some of my friends have moved on to careers they love, getting married, and even having children, I’ve been sitting here wondering if/when. Will that ever happen to me? When will it be my turn? It is during these moments that I remind myself of something my mom always says to me–life unfolds as you live it. I cannot know about tomorrow until tomorrow. God will take care of me, and if I seek Him first, somehow everything will work out in His timing and His way–but I have no way of knowing how or when.
So, life remains mysterious, but I’ve always liked mystery, so I can’t complain. As I navigate the road ahead of me, I want to talk about life with you, and I hope you will engage with what you read. I also want to do more than just writing–I would love to get back into video editing and taking pictures. That’s up ahead very soon, and I want to use this blog as a place to share some of it with you. Only this time, the name will be different–I’ve already purchased a domain for the new blog, and in a few weeks NikitaSays.com will automatically redirect to that domain. The entries up now will probably be hidden away somewhere, so if you want to revisit or read any of those, time is limited. 🙂
Thanks again for reading whatever Nikita wanted to say, and please join me on my next adventure–The Life Unfolding.
*Apparently I just invented a new word.